The movie Red Dawn is a guilty pleasure of mine and I watch it every few years. I’m talking about the original 1984 film, not the shitty 2012 remake. The premise of Red Dawn, where Cuban troops, backed by the Soviet Union, suddenly invade the heart of America via Mexico, is preposterous, although people who lived in that time period and analyzed military strategy would love to tell you the sequence of events portrayed at the very beginning of the film and the attack vectors used by the invading troops were entirely plausible.
I find the ridiculousness of it mainly to be that the invasion happens without warning with the town’s residents seemingly oblivious to the fact that Mexico and the rest of central America became communist states and NATO had basically been dissolved in their timeline. Then there’s the fact that high school students help lead the resistance to the communist invasion magically learning war strategy and technology along the way and finding the time to write WOLVERINES all over everything before heading back to the mountains to camp. As one review at the time put it, “for too much of its running time, it’s just a childishly simplistic masturbatory fantasy for right-wing hebephrenics…”
But it’s still an entertaining movie and it’s one the left loves to hate. The recent hyperbolic hyperpartisan hyperventilation tm about Trump and his staff’s links to Russia makes me long for the days of the 1980s where the ridiculousness of Red Dawn pales in comparison to the current narrative of the mainstream media and the left. To review, the left believes that Russia has effectively performed a coup d’état of the United States without the use of military force by turning Trump and his staff. This isn’t a straw man argument given the articles and headlines I’ve read. The recent resignation of Flynn and Sessions being in the news is all the left needs as proof that this has happened. This is remarkable news for a couple of reasons, because under this theory:
A) the United States no longer exists, and
B) it represents the greatest intelligence failure or silent corruption, of any country’s intelligence community, ever
The theory first presented itself the day after Trump won the presidential election, which would mean at least some in the (former) United States intelligence community had to have known about it prior to election day and simply allowed or were forced to allow it to happen. Surely, someone would have spoken out the day before the election? No? Nevermind the ridiculousness of it all and that the left is now behaving worse than 1950s McCarthyism, I’m curious what the left’s movie treatment of the great Russian takeover of the United States will be like. I imagine it could be a thriller, like one of Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan novel-turned-movie treatments, like the Hunt for Red October where Alec Baldwin sniffs out the Russians.
But, I fear the movie would be more like Brokeback Mountain where Putin and Trump grow to have a love affair after they both meet on tumblr and discover they are gender fluid or something. I’m not sure who would portray Putin, but Trump would be played again, by Alec Baldwin, of course. In the movie, Rebels wearing pink vagina hats and pant suits repeatedly scream and shout “NOT MY PRESIDENT!” while furiously posting to social media that they are literally shaking, then Putin and Trump realize the errors of their ways in a heart to heart and give the United States to Hillary Clinton, the rightful and just dictator, as they ride off into the sunset back to Russia with everyone who didn’t vote for Clinton. I’m sure that’s a masturbatory fantasy of the current left-wing hebephrenics.
The movie is then nominated for an Oscar, but the wrong winner is announced.
P.S. I admit it, I had to look up what the hell a hebephrenic was.